"Tu español es muy bueno."

“Tu español es muy bueno. ¿Eres latina?”

“No. Nací aquí en los Estados Unidos. Soy una mezcla de nacionalidades: polaca y italiana.”

<me mira con duda>

“Bueno, las lenguas de italiana y español son semejantes. Entonces, ¿hablas italiana?”

“No.”

<más duda>

“Y no hablo polaco tampoco. Pero hablo y entiendo un poco de la lengua de mi esposo: croata.”

<ahora, confusión extrema>

***

This is a conversation I have with patients several times a week. I always feel complimented when my Spanish-speaking patients tell me that my Spanish is good, especially since I know I have much to learn, and I cringe sometimes at the thought of all the grammatical mistakes I must be making when I talk with them! But inevitably, after the compliment about my Spanish skills comes the question about how I know it so well. I must be Latina, right? Or at the very least, I must have travelled  outside the U.S. at some point and spent several years living in a Central or South American community of people. This is what my patients think! And truly, I am complimented they feel my Spanish is that good. 

But the simple answer is, no. I’m not Latina. I grew up in a two-family house with my parents and my mother’s parents. My grandparents were first generation Italian Americans who got married and raised a family during the WWII era. Based on their stories of what it was like living in the United States back then, everyone was fiercely patriotic. In their minds, to be American was to jump feet first into this ‘melting pot’ of a society. This meant learning the English language and adopting American customs, unfortunately, to the detriment of the mother tongue and traditions.  My grandparents spoke Italian as children growing up in Brooklyn, but that language was gradually lost during their years to adulthood. Eventually, when they had children of their own, there was no language to teach them but English and this, of course, carried on to my generation.

I was a child in the 1980s and back then, television programming was not like it is today. It did not introduce children to any languages other than English. Even Sesame Street, which I probably watched for the majority of my young childhood, introduced me only to the basics of ‘gracias’, ‘hola’ and numbers up to ten in Spanish. I remember hearing once when I was growing up, I’m not sure if I heard it on the news or in school or elsewhere, but I remember hearing someone saying, “What do you call a person who speaks two languages? Bilingual. What do you all a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual. What do you call a person who speaks one language? American.” And when I heard this joke, it bothered me. I would have loved to have learned something other than English as a young child. That opportunity wasn’t given to me.  My grandparents touted many times how proud they were to be of Italian origin. Then why did they give up on the Italian language? 

Fast forward to my junior high years of 7^th and 8^th grade and my school finally introduced me to another language: Spanish. I loved it! It was fun to learn, but something that unfortunately could only be learned in the confines of a classroom. At home, my family – namingly my grandparents- flip-flopped between being proud of me for being such a good student, and being angry at me for speaking a language they didn’t understand and didn’t want to understand. It was a tough situation. But I continued my Spanish studies through high school and college and eventually got real practice using it in my medical school and residency years. It took many many years to accustom my ears to the different sounds of Spanish, enough to understand someone speaking it. I still struggle at times with that today, especially if someone’s using slang or speaking with a heavy accent or dropping syllables from the words. But I have come a long way. And I am proud of what I’ve accomplished.

Because I speak Spanish, and because I can understand Spanish, windows into patients’ lives have been opened to me that I would never have been able to peer through before.   It’s a real gift, this gift of communication, and one that I work hard to maintain everyday.

***

In this same vein, I came across an article title recently that caught my attention: “Non-Spanish Fluent Latinas: ‘Don’t Judge Us.’” written by Tracy López for the website NewLatina. The article mentions that, though it is predicted that the United States will be home to the largest population of Spanish speakers in the world forty years from now, many Latinos born and raised in the U.S. do not speak Spanish. It goes on to talk about the history of Spanish language in this country, which most interestingly parallels my time-line of Americans’ attitude toward foreign language learning from the 1930’s to present –this time seen from the perspective of the Spanish-speaking immigrant. Those whose mother tongue was Spanish during the WW II era here did not dare speak the language outside the home because they received discrimination if they did. And often times that translated to them not even using the language in the home for fear their children would not be able to learn English properly enough to “blend in” with American society. Hence, a generation of Latinos was born that, upon reaching adulthood, could not teach the Spanish language to their children even if they wanted to because they themselves had no exposure to it.

Ms. López goes on to say that for these non-Spanish fluent Latinos, there is a sense of judgment from other Latinos in the community who do speak the language. They are regarded as “fake Latinos” because not speaking Spanish is viewed as shameful. Several Latina women are quoted remarking on their experiences with this in the U.S., all of which have the common thread of feeling less-than or left out because they do not know Spanish fluently. These even include stories of famous Latinas such as Jennifer Lopez and the late Selena Quintanilla who struggled with having a strong Latin identity and yet weak Spanish-language skills.

The article ends on a positive note, saying that among the Latina community, people should embrace each other for their similarities and differences.  Latinos come from a rich variety of countries of origin, cultures and backgrounds, and therefore should not be held to a standard that says they should all act and sound the same way. There is certainly a lesson we can all learn from this.

...Which brings me back to the conversation I had with my patient.  I speak Spanish, but I am not Latina. There are many Latinas out there, proud of their heritage, who don’t speak Spanish. 

Because I am not Latina, should it be assumed that I don’t speak or understand Spanish?

Because  a woman is Latina, should it be assumed that she does speak Spanish and if she doesn’t, she is ‘fake’?

No and no to both counts. Preposterous!

How about this: We live in a country of which we are proud to be a part. We come from various origins we are proud make us who we are, and we respect and embrace each other for our similarities and our differences.

***

“¿Dónde aprendiste español?”

“En la escuela.”

“¿En los Estados Unidos?”

“Sí. Desde mi escuela primeria.”

“Ohh.”

“Tengo mucho más que aprender.”

“Bueno, está bien. Lo hablas bien.”

***

To read more of Tracy López’s article “Non-Spanish Fluent Latinas: ‘Don’t Judge Us.’”, you can find it with this link http://newlatina.net/non-fluent-latinas-dont-judge-us/ 

Arches Nat'l Park, Utah. "As far as the eye can see..."